The Bakery Chronicles

People, I can't make this stuff up.

Actual conversation with customer:

Me: Can I help you?

Her: Do you have any vegan cupcakes?

Me: Yes, right now we just have these chocolate ones.

Her: Oh, you don't have any other flavors? 

Me: No, I'm sorry. We're all out at the moment. 

Her: ok, well, I guess I'll just take one of these then [pointing at a really pretty, though not vegan, cupcake]

Me: You know that kind's not vegan, right?

Her: It's my friend's birthday, but she doesn't like chocolate that much. This will be fine.

Me: We do have slices of vegan vanilla cake with vanilla frosting. What about one of those?

Her: oh, yes! Where?

[we move to a different case and I point out the cake slices]

Her: oh, but they're so white

Me: Well, they're vanilla.

Her: Yes, but they're so pale. I'll take that other one.

Do you bang your head against walls (or counters) at work? I think about it sometimes, and, people, this was certainly one of them. How else besides white and pale should vanilla cake look?

Sadly, this isn't even the first time someone has completely ignored the birthday girl's diet/allergies/whathaveyou. Do they think they get points for effort? Does spending $4 on a [jumbo+fancy] cupcake that the birthday girl can't eat somehow win one points? Because if it does, I think we can turn that into a marketable thing. 

The Bakery Chronicles

A few weeks ago, I officially became a Baker. As in, my official title is now "Baker," rather than the somewhat long-winded and ambiguous "Bakery Team Member". And I have to tell you, it feels good. I don't think anyone at work besides my boss knows of the change, but there's a little more spring in my step (despite my shoes that desperately need replacing).

The Bakery Chronicles

People, I can't make this stuff up.

Actual conversation with customer:

Me: Can I help you?
Him: Do you have any sugar free cakes?
Me: Hmmm, no it looks like we're out, but we do have some no sugar added pies.
Him: Do you have vegan cakes?
Me: [probably too incredulously] Vegan and sugar free?
Him: No, just vegan.
Me: Sure, here in this case. Today we have German chocolate, vanilla, and a chocolate torte. The German chocolate is the best.
Him: What about your cheesecakes? Do they have egg in them?
Me: [working on expressionless] I'm pretty sure they do- let me double check the ingredient list....yes, they have eggs. [no eye rolls, no eye rolls, no eye rolls]
Him: ok. I'll have the German chocolate vegan cake then.

People. People. My advice today is this: if you are trying to fit a dessert into a diet, just let the poor worker bee helping you know at the beginning of the conversation. It'll go much better for everyone, I promise.

The Bakery Chronicles

Actual conversation with a customer:

Kate: Hi, how can I help you?
Oblivious Lady: I'd like a large fresh fruit tart
Kate starts to box up said tart
Oblivious Lady: [proudly] I'm getting this for my vegan coworker
Kate: Oh, this isn't vegan.
Oblivious Lady: It's not?
Kate: No, there's pastry cream and chocolate under the fruit, plus the tart shell. We do have several vegan cakes
Oblivious Lady: No, this will be fine
Kate: Are you sure?
Oblivious Lady: Yes, I've seen her eating pastries before
Kate: [internal eye roll] ok, have a good day

Seriously people, it happened.

The Bakery Chronicles

Work has been going well, and I'm slowly but surely learning more and getting better at dealing in large quantities. Today's installment about life in a bakery is really just three little vignettes. Enjoy!

~~~

A couple of weeks ago, I came to the end of my shift and discovered that I was missing one earring. I looked all around my work station, the floor, and I checked the jacket I wore when I was working in the freezer. No dice.

The Bakery Chronicles

Last year at this time, I was working at a small startup. I worked closely with my good friend, E; in fact, we shared both an office and desk (it was pretty big. and we like each other) when we were both in the building at the same time. One of E's many accomplishments in life is that she earned a Masters degree in Architecture. Unfortunately, she graduated right about the time the economy tanked. Thus, the startup.

In any case, one morning a coworker stopped by our office for some advice. C is a highly intelligent, highly energetic and excitable person who often stopped by to bounce ideas off of us or hear about our weekend or just take a brain break. But this visit was different. His daughter, I think around age five or six at the time, worried about a male classmate coming over for a playdate. She was worried they didn't have any "boy toys" for him to play with. Well, this plainly surprised C. After further discussion, including pointing out that she had Legos they could play with, his daughter was still worried because the Legos were pink, and furthermore, she adamantly asserted, "Girls don't build things." Well. C was at a loss, both trying to figure out how she got this idea in the first place and how to convince her otherwise.

A New T-shirt Slogan

Baking isn't for sissies.

I haven't talked much here about my "real," i.e. non-blogging , job. You know, the one that pays some of the bills around Chez Sweets. I haven't talked about it partly because it hasn't been terribly interesting and partly because I like having some separation between work and play. This isn't play exactly, because it takes a good amount of time, thought, and energy, but I certainly wouldn't classify it as "work." Back in the day when ballet was my full-time job, I never called it work. I  always said, "I'm going to ballet" or "I'm going to the studio." When I started referring to it as work? Well, that was one of the indications that it was time to retire.

Anyway, for the past few months, I've been working in the "front" of a bakery. By that, I mean I deal with customers and merchandise and whatnot, you know, basic retail. I wasn't working in the "back" where cookies are baked and cakes are decorated. But an opportunity to work in the back presented itself, and I jumped at it. I applied, put together a collection of photos, and interviewed with our boss. I was excited to get the job (yay!), and Friday I finally started learning my way around.